
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Real Managers... Very Funny :-)
A team of Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a small flagpole.
So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape. They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs.
"See this idiot. We're looking for height and he gives the length!"
Moral: "No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you".
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Chuck Norris - - Simply Unforgiving!!!
Best of the Tons :):)
Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.
Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.
Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.
Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Chuck Norris ( Americans' RajniKanth ) Facts!!!!
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face.
Top Rajnikant Facts known to man:!!!
- There is no theory of evolution.
- Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant
- Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice
- When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
- Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
- Rajnikant’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush in Poker
- Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
- Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile
- Rajnikant can slam a revolving door
- Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
- There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue
- Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
- Rajnikant doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear
- Rajnikant can divide by zero
- Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick
- When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600
- Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink
- In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajnikant kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe
- Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth
- Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage
- Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
- Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
- If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
- Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds
- Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
- It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes – no, he doesn’t have a TIVO
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off
- There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai
- Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
- Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.
Rajni Rocks!!!
Keep Smiling Friends!!! :-) :-)
Long Live Rajni !!!!!
Funny Facts about Rajni Kanth !!!!
Rajni facts...
for all rajni lovers...
- Rajnikanth makes onions cry
- Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
- Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
- Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
- Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
- Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
- When Rajnikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
- When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajnikanth.
- Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
- Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
- Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is forhandicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spotbelongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you parkthere.
- Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
- Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
- Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciatingpain, the cobra died.
- Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
- Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the firs tto spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of every one standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
- It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man,there is Rajanikanth.
- Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to squareRajanikanth, the result is death.
- When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
- Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikanth.
- Rajnikanth has counted infinity--twice.
- Rajnikanth doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanthkicked one of the corners off.
- Rajnikanth once are an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth,there is no other way!
- Rajnikanth can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.
- When Rajnikanth falls in water, Rajnikanth doesn't get wet. Water gets Rajnikanth.
- Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Rajnikanth has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
- Rajnikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- Rajnikanth ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Rajnikanth frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
- Rajnikanth's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper,what beats all 3 at the same time?Answer: Rajnikanth
- If you want a list of Rajnikanth's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
- Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Rajnikanth does bothlegs at once.
- Rajnikanth does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word,Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
- There are two kinds of people in this world:
1) those who are dead
2) those who have yet to meet Rajnikanth
- Music listens to Rajnikanth.
Long Live Rajni!!!!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
jandhyala titlu .. back again!!!!
1. కాకి రెట్టేసిన క్లైంట్ మీటింగ్ కి వెళ్ళిపోయే గలీజ్ నాయాల..
2. బూట్ పాలిష్ కుర్రాడితో బేరాలాడి 50 % డిస్కౌంట్ కి చేయించుకునే పీనాసి నాయాల...
3. నాన్న సికారుకేల్డం అని పిల్లలదిగితే ఆఫీసు లో ఫామిలీ డే కి తీసుకేల్తాననే కక్కుర్తి సన్నాసి....
4. స్నేహితుడు రిక్వెస్ట్ పంపితే accept చెయ్యకుండా తిరిగి request పంపే వెర్రి వెదవ...
5. అష్ట దరిద్రమైన శని గ్రహానికి powder పూసి, బొట్టు పెట్టిన దయ్యంలా ఉన్నావ్.....
6. atm లో pan card పెట్టే తింగరి సన్నాసి....
7. ac కోసం atm కి వెళ్లి బాలన్స్ enquiry చేసే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవ...
8. సముద్రంలో కప్పలు పట్టే మొహం...
9. Aquarium లో చేపలు పట్టే ఫేసూ..
10. ఉడతలు పట్టే వాడివి...
11. తొండ మొహం వెదవ...
12. తిని పాడేసిన విస్తరాకులు కడిగి అమ్మే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవా...
13. వాడేసిన బ్లేడ్ ముక్కలను ఇనప సామాన్ల వాడికి వేసే పీనాసి నాయాల...
14. అమ్మాయి సీక్రెట్ గా నీ బుక్ లో ప్రేమ లేఖ పెడుతుంటే చూసి, ఏమండి మీ బుక్ కాదండీ నాది అని గట్టిగా అరిచే అర బుర్ర ఎదవా..
15. కుక్క వెంతపడుతుంటే పరిగెత్తకుండా vodofone sim తీసి పడేసే అక్కుపక్షి...
16. 108 vehicle ని ఆపి లిఫ్ట్ అడిగి తిట్లు తినే తింగరి ఎదవ...
17. శవం మీద మరమరాలు ఏరుకొని bhel puri చేసుకొని తినే పెంట మొహమా..
18. కాకి నోట్లోంచి బ్రెడ్ ముక్క లాక్కునే అంట్ల కాకి ఎదవా...
19. రెండో floor లో పెట్రోల్ బంక్ పెట్టి దివాలా తీసిన ఫేసూ.
20. ఎర్రసైన్యం R.narayana murthi దగ్గర break dance నేర్చుకొనే ఎదవా...








